Reprinted By Popular Demand

You Know You Live in Danville if

- “fine dining” means you go some place that actually serves the food on a plate.
- the streets are torn up every year just when school starts.
- utility bills resemble a Lexus payment.
- even the doctors won’t go to the hospital here.
- merge signs are merely a suggestion.
- “economic boom” is defined as a nickel increase in the price of scrap copper.
- the main newspaper is filled with news from yesterdays Richmond Times Dispatch.
- the age of your shoes are greater then the age of most Danville police officers.
- its easier to adopt a child then adopt a pet from the shelter.
- the Institute reminds you of Emerald City in the Wizard of Oz. A lot of bells and whistles but no one really knows what goes on behind the curtain.
- the streets are sprayed with water BEFORE an ice storm.
- the top job producer in the city is “demolition”.
- the school board could not pass a SOL test (Standards of Logic)
- restaurants serve food “deep fried” or “really deep fried”.
- The three largest religions are Baptist, Baptist, and NASCAR.
- Rotor Rooter is needed to clean out the arteries of the average citizen.
- the city needs a “multi media director” to produce the municipal version of the “Gong Show”.
- city still collects trash the way they did in the 18th century.
- the day of judgment comes but you don’t worry since Danville is 10 years behind so you still have time.
- all the kings horses and all the kings men couldn’t put Danville Memorial Hospital back together again.
- you decide to move to the county so your kids will get a decent education.

Stay tuned for the continuing saga of "DPS:The Disaster Continues"